New Year, New um.. other stuff

In which I talk about newness....



It's been a minute since I posted. Gah! Maybe it's because I twitter so often I forget to actually blog. I'm not sure. But here's what I've been thinking. Almost all of my social sites are dark backgrounds. Dark..Dark...Dark. I think it's time for a change. I'm thinking I will change the blog first and take baby steps to changing other things around.

Let's talk about Christmas for a minute, shall we. I gave my son the 200 lb Trampoline and my daughter got the fur real friend, Biscuit. Both got exactly what they asked for this year. That felt good. Plus, they received other gifts that they loved. Like System of the Down CD and an Easy Bake oven, respectively. So, we did have to dig a 14 ft (in circumference) hole in the snow to put the trampoline up. But, the kids all bounced on it, even in the snow. Here's the process:






Yep. That is the trampoline. Later, there was a wind advisory that I neglected to consider. Which picked up all 200 pounds of the above trampoline and threw it across the yard and into the neighbors fence. As seen here. I rescued the monster and laid it flat in the yard until the winds die down. Or I figure out how to anchor it in the yard.

In other news...
I have entered into a new food hobby. Called (insert drumroll) Bento. I already adore it. I knew I would when I saw goblinbox doing it. I am still learning portions and how to make everything ascetically pleasing. Then, after I have that mastered, I will begin making cute designs and figures and what not. *Mwahahaha* I have all kinds of links for Bento and where to buy stuff cheap. It's all in the "where I go section". I would recommend this food hobby/obsession to anyone. Srsly. So. Much. Fun. I think I only want to eat bite size food that are in cute little containers from now on. Too far? Eh. Whateva.



*Curtsy and I'm out*

It's the day before the night before......

In which I feel human again and spread love...


I am still a touch sick. But nowhere near as I was. Ugh. Thankfully, that has passed. Right. Today is Christmas Eve *day*. I start to get excited for tomorrow. I remember waking up in the very early morning hours, begging to open presents. But my sleepy mother would say, "Socks only". So. Me and my brothers, would open our stockings to find the traditional fruit and candy, plus a few toys. Sometimes, those toys would hint at something to come. Sometimes, there would be batteries, then I knew I was getting something that required batteries. Which AWESOME! I never understood why my mom was sooo tired Christmas morning. That is until I had children. Now I know why she prayed for just 1 more hour of sleep when we woke her at 4 am. She had only been sleeping for 40 minutes. There is so much to do. Well. Not. This. Year.

This is the year where I got smart. I finished most everything *including wraping* before Christmas Eve. The big things are left and that's it. I feel like I outsmarted Christmas! Except for this one little thing..... I bought a 200 pound trampoline! Which I was going to set up on Christmas Eve and just when my son had his "I appreciate everything I have but I cannot help hiding the disappointment that I didn't get the one thing I wanted" look. I would throw the front door open and there in the front yard, with a giant red bow, is his trampoline! And I was MOM-OF-THE-YEAR!!! But here's what happened.. Feet upon feet of snow!! So, instead of setting up the trampoline and calling it a night. I will be digging a hole then setting up the trampoline. It will be a late, cold night. Christmas, won again.

At 4am tomorrow morning, my kids will come to wake me and beg to open presents. I will mumble, "Socks only".




Merry Christmas Everyone!



*curtsy and I'm out*

Day 4 of the sickness diary

In which I totally think I have the bird flu....





I have not blogged lately due to illness. I can produce a note from my mother if needed. Do you remember when you were sick and all you had to do was lay in bed? I do. Not anymore of course. Because I am a mom now. Therefore, my mom will not come and check to see if I have a fever by kissing my forehead and bringing me some soup. I get this instead, "There's nothing you can do. Mom's don't get a day off." *Sigh* Where did her sympathy go?

I have been sleeping in excess though. Still feeling a little weak, mostly due to lack of food probably. I haven't eaten since friday and it is now monday. You know that question of, is it worth eating this now to feel bad later? My answer to that question was and is no. I have been smoking the same pack of cigarettes since friday. I think I should just quit. Maybe this sickness is how I will attain every New Years resolution I have ever made, EVAR! Quit smoking, lose weight and get more rest. Check. Check. And check.

I had a fever ranging between 102.7 and 103.2 for three days. It finally broke. I feel a little better. I think I might be dehydrated. I kept having a dream last night. The same one over and over. I was in the desert and had a 32 ounce cup of water. I kept sucking on the straw but it was broken so I couldn't get any water. Then I tried to take the lid off but it was stuck. There I was, dying of thirst, while holding the life saving fluid in my hands. I woke up, finally. And got a drink.







*curtsy and I'm out*

Blah, blah, blah

In which I'm wearing the same pants as yesterday. I am bored and talk about a bunch of nothing until you are bored with me.




It's been snowing and freezing all week here. *no plows, no sand, no salt* All of the emergency vehicles are wearing chains. And driving around looking for accidents.*I assume* Schools are on a 2 hour delay. With the exception of today, which they closed session completely. In anticipation of the coming winter storm that is expected later this evening. Right. Because what happens after school hours effects the school day. At least on the parallel universe. I have so much faith in the Walla2 educators now.

I stayed up late last night. Playing Bejeweled 2 on the iTouch. I reached level 20 before deciding I should just put it down and crawl into bed. Which is exactly what I did. Without taking my pants off, I might add. Then I woke at 8:30am needing to be in the office by 9:00am. Remember we spoke of the ice. No time to get ready or, you know, change my clothes. I am, indeed, wearing the same brown cords as yesterday. Without a shower. I don't have hot water in the bathroom. It's so cold it froze the hot water while running. Yay! For winter. One day without a shower is fine. More then one day, may just be gross.

Twice, I have thought my car doors were frozen shut and both times they were locked. It's really odd because I never lock my doors. But whatever. The 30 minutes we spent pouring water on it and using a hairdryer and extension cord was fun anyway. I guess I have an IQ of 175 75, afterall. *sigh* Oh well.

An update on the concert tickets. I has them. It's official, I get to see angry-white-boys with mommy-issues live in January.

My "wrong-number-texter" has been writing more often. *back story* Veteran's Day, I received a text:

Cali dude: "Happy Veteran's Day. Sure did change us, bro."

I responded: "I think you have the wrong number but Happy Veteran's Day. Thanks for your service."

Since then, he writes every now and then. He's pretty funny. One text:

Cali Dude: "I'm sitting at the DMV right now. Entertain me."

If I ever meet him. You know. In real life.
Or if we continue talking for years. We will have a fantastic "How we met" story. Or not. Either way. He did send me some pics the other night. He's a hottie. Maybe even enough for H-A-W-T!


In other news*
I can tell people are, in fact, reading my blogs but the only commenter's seem to be my friends Goblinbox and Gibblesnix. And I SUPER *heart* them for it. <3 I would also love, love,love, to talk to random strangers about my Dear Diary type entries. Which they all tend to be. Except for one big difference. They are entered into the blogosphere for everyone to read. Honestly, that appeals to be on so many levels. I may have more then a few issues.

That's about all for now. More later.






*curtsy and I'm out*

I peak by Wednesday

In which I go out....

Normally, after about Wednesday, I run out of interesting information. I often wonder if it's because I am long winded and fill you in on a few days all in one shot. Then I wonder, why do I care that I peak by Wednesday. As long as I blog once a week, I feel I've accomplished something. Right. On with it then. How was your weekend, LCG (LeftCoastGirlie), you ask? It was hilarious, is my answer. At least it was in my perspective. A little history for you first. We, my bizarre little family, have a tradition to go out and chop down our Christmas tree every year. Sometimes, it makes me feel sorry for the tree. I know that's strange. But the tree is just minding it's own business. All, you know, growing and producing oxygen and along we come with our kids and saw. We cut it down. Throw it on top of our car, drive down the mountain and cut the end off. Then we stick it in a stand and screw metal rods into the trunk. Pile on lights and decorations. When we are through with it, we throw it outside for the boy scouts to pick up. Kind of sad. Or maybe, it's just me.

Since there are so many of us living together, we had to take 2 cars. We started out knowing where to go then... not so much. The snow level was rising the farther we up we traveled. Eventually, my cell phone rang. It was my brother in the car behind me.

My brother: "I'm going to have to turn around and go back. The snow is deeper then the car is high".

Me: "Alright" I said, "let me find a place to turn around."

And here is where the fun started. I was able to turn around in the driveway of a farmhouse without incident. I parked in the road. Then it was Troy's turn. He got turned around in the driveway but trying to make it make to the road he got stuck. So. Time to push. While trying push the car backward, I believe we broke the World Dead lift Record. We had my mom steer the car while we pushed. After a few minutes, we managed to get it out of the driveway and onto the road. I would have photo's but for the following conversation:

Me: "I should take pictures of this for Flickr and my blog."

Troy: "If you do that, I will throw your little phone under the tires for fucking traction."

So, no pictures of the pushing the vehicles. We got into the SUV. And I thought it was parked on the shoulder. Everything was covered in a couple of feet of snow, I couldn't tell for sure. Turns out. I was on the shoulder. We drove into the ditch and stayed there. Driving in the ditch. The bank less then a foot from my window. I leaned to the left while holding the "Oh-shit-handle".
and thought *out loud* "We are in the ditch! We are in the ditch!" *You know. In case he didn't know.* I saw a mailbox in our path. And stated "There's a mailbox! There's a mailbox!" (Thank you. My alter ego is Obvious Woman!) Luckily, we hit a driveway that bounced us onto the road and across into another ditch. Hit another driveway and was able to just stay on the road. My brother looked at me and said, "Do you think it is possible that you could shut the fuck up?!" *snort* No, probably not.


We ended up having to go to a tree farm with pre-cut trees. Which was still fun because the kids didn't seem to mind. They bombed each other and us with snowballs. We picked out our tree and took it home. I was going to settle in and watch "It's a Wonderful Life" then I got a text from Goblinbox saying she was down at Sapolil Cellars playing from 8-11. And that I should come. So, I talked the brother, also called, my brother, into babysitting and hitched a ride down there. You see, it was and is still snowing and I am a big sissy la-la when it comes to driving in the snow. I drank some wine and listened to Mush and Coyote Kings play some groovin blues music. There was a small crowd, which was actually really nice. They then invited me to be their hostage, which I gladly accepted. There was a bite-size dog in the bar that someone brought in the purse. *Not even kidding*. Gibblesnix and Goblinbox thought it was adorable, as did I. Gibblesnix wanted to put it in his coat and take it home. We decided to go out to breakfast because Mush needed "an omelette STAT". We arrived safely to Shari's and waited to be seated. And waited and waited. While waiting, we were talking to a foursome that came in to eat breakfast as well. The little girl was telling us a story about how they had stolen a chocolate pie the last time they were there. Here's something I learned, when Mush counts, things happen. Mush said "they have 80 seconds to seat us. If not, we are going to Taco Bell". And she began to count. I think she reached 40-something before we were actually seated. Our both was still wet. You know, from sanitizing. We ordered our beverages and received them in a timely fashion. He even took orders fast. Mush and I both ordered the veggie omelette. KandaJ ordered an entire cow. Which apparently they had to slaughter and butcher themselves because we waited like an hour for our meal. Once again, Mush said, "I am counting to 90. *I think* If our food isn't here we are going to Taco Bell!" It arrived in about 80 seconds, give or take. While the food was good. It was obvious that the eggs had been sitting for a little bit.

The moral of my story is this: Don't drive up mountains without a lift kit or a power-lifter in the back seat. Even unplanned events, turn into fun! And my friends are WAY better then your friends. *snort*











*curtsy and I'm out*

Beautiful Bento Goodness

In which I am falling in love (not with a boy...eww) WITH BENTO
and I give you pictures





Yesterday, Mush surprised me and her BF *who really needs to blog* with Bento goodness *see above*. Yay! They are soo good. Srsly. She makes me want to be a Bento lover too.

Today. I came to work on a mission to purchase concert tickets. The first ROCK show is coming to the Tri-Cities in 15 years. I, myself, haven't been to one since Queensryche and *I think it was* Winger. Gah! How old am I? Anyway, I went to the local station, where I am a VIP family member, and used my secret, pre-sale code to buy my tickets so I don't have to wait in long lines, with crowds of "slayer dude" kids, only to discover it was all for not because the venue sold out. First, I couldn't get the debit card to go through because the effin credit union wanted to verify the company (Ticketmaster) first. Finally, it went through and I reserved 4 seats close to the stage! Fantastic, right? Not so much. I opted for fast tickets that I can print at me convenience. Ha! I can't get to them. *There was an error retrieving your tickets. Please contact customer service*. I have emailed them because the phone system is, apparently, flooded with the "Slayer dude" kiddo's. So. Now. I. Wait.

Around 11:18am, I was told I would be going shopping for the lot of us at the "office". Walmart shopping is always an adventure. We go and get all kinds of junk food and then eat it. It took unusually long today, two trips and three carts full. Looks like this:



Then, just when I resigned myself to eating cheesesticks and sunflower seeds..this was escorted to me by Mush.




Not only is it adorable, it's so tasty. *Confession: I have never eaten pomegranate seeds before!* They are totally slammin! Absolutely a new fav. for me. Seriously! This was so delicious! Best lunch, in like, EVAR!


*Curtsy and I'm out*

Christmasness

In which I can't help feeling the joy....


Creative juices are a-flowin. This week has just begun and I have already got so much done. The house is pretty much done on the outside.
We usually make a gingerbread house but the kids are getting older so, now they want to be all individual like, for some reason. *shrugs* I conceded to their requests and allowed them to each make their own. It was a blast. The boys worked together and made a fabulous house. My daughter designed hers as well. We all chipped in on the tree. I have the Christmas candles throughout the house which makes it smell soooo good. A combination of cookies and pumpkin pie. You know what they say about the scent of pumpkin, don't you?

The office is decorated now as well. Including Mush's area, complete with ense ense ense sound effects provided by myself. *giggle* She has a total of 500 feet of flashing, white-light, goodness! While I enjoy the time away from the phones, I have reconsidered my volunteerism in the office. Garland and tumb-tacs in stucco-ish walls= mild pain. I learned 2 things yesterday. a)If you make a fist while holding tacs, you will get stabbed. and 2) You can actually bruise the tip of your thumb.

In a side note:
Mush brought me the adorable-est (in her words)"super smiley snack bento" EVAR!! Look!!!
I know what I am having for lunch, bitches. Yay!

*Curtsy and I'm out*

SO ELFIN HAWT

In which I place people's heads on small elf bodies to make myself giggle with glee..



You would think I would have better things to do but... I. Don't. Plus, I work with everyone in the film with the exception of Vuboq. So this is a depiction of what it would look like if he worked with us. See it for a limited time here. I made lots and lots. I can't decide which is my favorite. I *heart* them all! The sad news, they will expire in January.


I will write more later. Just wanted to share the elf goodness.

*Curtsy and I'm out*


ummm... on a side note.. I didn't ask if I could use anyone's likeness. I just did it for my own selfish pleasure. They are TOTALLY cute though right?

Nothing Blog worthy really

For a couple hours, this totally handsome, orange cat (O.C) was stuck in a tree. I would go over and talk to him. Best conversation of the day. Then my boss came over and joined our little confab. O.C was very friendly & had much to say. We talked about the dog that had been sniffing around earlier and the squirrels he had stalked up there in that tree. I thought *IDEA! I will go get some tuna (from the cabinet in the lunch room) to entice O.C to come down. By this time, others had arrived. James, KJ and Mike. I came out with fish in hand. Placed it in a little plastic quasi-dish. Started walking toward O.C to, you know, rescue him. And was dismissed! He had made his way down the tree before I could bestow my offering before him. *sigh*

In other news....


We had our monthly potluck today. Most potlucks have a few dishes and that's it. Not this one. We had a great selection. I, of course, did not take a picture because I tend to forget things but Michelle did. Here it is. Everyone did a fabulous job.

*Final thought*

I did nothing noteworthy this week. Hmmmm.

*Curtsy and I'm out*

Dear crack head(s) that stole my stereo

I begin a small rant....



If you were at the Toyota Center on 12-2-2008 ripping a car stereo from the above car, this letter is for you. I would like to thank you for making things just a tad harder for us right before Christmas. Really. I love a challenge. It's not as if I, a single mom, am not having difficult enough of a time in this current economy. Providing for 2 kids on one income and helping to support her mother that cannot work. Who needs a frivolous luxury like a stereo in a car? It's not as if I loan the car to my brother who has to drive 160 miles round trip to work and needed a vehicle that is good on gas mileage. The same brother that parked said vehicle at the Toyota Center tonight while he attended his union meeting. Although the noise does help to keep him awake behind the wheel at 4am in the morning while he drives from Walla Walla to Hanford to help build the plants that will clean up the tons of nuclear waste that could be seeping into Columbia River or our drinking water. Oh wait! That is exactly the situation, on all points!


You sir(s), suck ass! It's bad enough that you yanked the stereo from it's perfect-fitting, designated spot and you left this big gaping hole.Then you must not have liked my taste in music because you threw my CD's all over the floor and ground. Sheesh! Did you have to add to the disrespect? Did you, by chance, give any thought to the frayed wires that you left behind? Let me enlighten you of the safety hazard. After the initial, "I wish I would have caught the asshole(s) in the act" pissed off-ness passed. He started down the road only to see sparks coming from the wires. Thankfully, he had the tools and equipment to fix the frayed mess. The time spent on the repair cost him precious minutes that he desperately needs for sleep.

I know this matters not to you. After all, you can get what, 15 or 20 dollars for the radio? That's a good rock! All I can say is I hope you choke on the smoke and get a pulmonary embolism, YOU WANKERS!

*Deep breath and exhale*
Since I believe in Karma... I will take that last statement back *excluding the WANKER part. I meant that* You obviously needed the money from ripping me off. So, I will hope you find help for yourself. I hope you will make it up sometime in your life by doing something useful for someone else. I will not wish bad events upon you. My guess is your life isn't daisies and sunshine. But you choose to live it how you do. Because everything comes down to a choice. I wish you a Merry Christmas anyway. I pray you have someone in this world that loves you and have faith you might learn to love yourself. Unless you want to come by and steal my daughter's barbie bicycle? It has a basket on it and a cool bell! YOU WANKER!

*Curtsy and I'm out*
Night

Lot's o' links

In which I apologize and carry on....



Right. Well. It's been a minute, hasn't it. I have been super busy and neglected the blog. If this was the days of old, I would need to be stoned in the streets or at least flogged. Thanks to humanitarians everywhere. I will not endure any pain for lack of commitment. As with all of you, I'm sure, I am braving the swarms of women in housecoats trying to find the best deals while avoiding charges of assault for taking the last Wolford Velvete de Luxe Legging.

Over the Thanksgiving weekend, I went to see him and the fam in Spokane, WA. My Pops is fantastic. We weren't close when I was a kid. You've heard the story of a broken home before so no need to run through that. I ate Thanksgiving dinner, the entire menu, 3 nights in a row. So on the 4th night, Pizza! But I digress. I had a blast, even though, there was snow on the ground. Which made me pull over and change drivers while I hyperventilated. Had to wake sleeping beauty. It was good to visit Shane and Dustin, my kid brothers. And of course my fabulous, step-Mom Hyo Shim. Dad showed off some toys. I went shopping with Hyo. I got to see the cutest wedding pics EVAR!Them.
I could go on and on with flickr links but I will give it a rest and say this... On the way home Sunday morning, there was not snow. There was however, fog.

It was a long 3 hour ride home. I felt like I could use a weekend from my weekend. But I went back to work, like a big girl. Yesterday,Mush and I kicked some major ass in the queue. Today, she is off. I'll be alone from 1pm until close. Should be a shit ton of fun. For those that don't know what a shit ton is.... It's way more than a ton. *giggles*

Victor, my co-worker, came back from his Thanksgiving in Maui. He brought us all key chains. There is a pic of mine in flickr but I said I would stop with the links. I must resist.

In other news.... Gibblesnix has posted 2 blogs in one week!! Which allowed him the opportunity to give me shit for the lack of blog on my part. You win this round, grasshopper. I will overcome my blockage. *again I giggle*

And finally, I break my promise and say on a side note.. My pops gave us, yet another computer while we hung around, eating his food. That gives each of the kids one. 3 total (my nephew included). So tonight. My plan, other then watching this is to do some networking. *so sue me. it's a flickr pic* I lie, apparently. It's part of my charm. Notice it's ALL Encore products. Secret= it's free from the employer.


*Curtsy and I'm out*

Black Friday...GAH

Just so we are clear from the gate.. I NEVER. I mean EVER. Go shopping on black friday. I loath shopping. Not just dislike, loath. But. This year. It was a must. The Christmas present (to be named later because he knows I have a blog) I needed to get my 12 yr old son, was on sale. 60 dollars off! That's a lot for a single mom/gal like me.

My brother, Troy,AKA "the muscle" said he would go with me but he wouldn't be happy about it. Thank God, he did. That ginormous thing weighed over 200 lbs. I think I have a hernia. Srsly.

Our plan? Divide and conquer. An "action isle" away was the cutest vacuum for only 28 bucks. In pink, blue or green. I know! Right! Cuteness!

How the day began actually starts with the night. I, in my infinite wisdom, did not go to sleep until midnight. At 3:22 AM. Yes! AM! My brother woke me up. He gets up that early everyday to go to work at the VIT. Needless to say, I, unenthusiastically, crawled out of bed and stumbled down the stairs to the bathroom. Thinking the whole time that, maybe, the 60 dollars was so not worth the loss of sleep. But when you say you are going to do something, you should always do it. After a condensed morning routine. We headed to WalMart. Because I am too cheap to shop anywhere else. Not that there is a huge selection of department stores in Walla Walla, Washington.

At 4 am, my brother and I had staked claim to the *present not to be named*. Much like the early Americans in the great land rush. Exactly like that only way different. We were standing there conversing with 2 other men. They were telling stories about "Black Friday" sales of old. The one I remember went something like this.

Old man speaks. "A few years ago, we were lined up outside because back then WalMart was closed. I remember we had been there for two hours already when a women came to line and tried to make her way to the front. Someone shouted, "Hey! There is a line for a reason you know?" The new arrival said, "I know. But I am disabled." Then the women that shouted, still wearing her pajamas barked, I don't care WHAT you are! Get in line lady".

I didn't say it was a nice story. Just was funny in a pathetic kind of way. It's not the end of the world if you don't get what you came for. It's a gamble. I didn't expect the "competition" side of it though. As the minutes ticked past. I turned to my brother and said time to divide? He said "yep". He's a man of few words, that brother of mine. Before I went to lay claim to my vacuum. I whispered, "Roll up your sleeves and put your 'Grr' face on." You see, my brother has his arms "sleeved" with Tattoos.

We were texting back and fourth until about 4:45 AM PEOPLE. Then the flood gates opened and people poured into the isles. He wrote me a final text. And I Quote..."Get the vacuum. I got the *present not to be named* and the shop vac. I'll meet you up front. You got the plan. No more texting. It's Showtime!" I *heart* him.

At 5AM. The black shrink wrap was devoured us consumers and chaos ensued. I did help the lady I had be talking to find a green vacuum. I started to head to where I left my brother when I got a text. Come on! it read. He was already up front. I asked if he helped the old man get one of the *presents not to be named* and he said, "Are you crazy!? He one pulled down when I did. He was trying to get two." I asked, "Well how many people were there?" His answer. "More then there was *presents*." We got to the cash register. No waiting. In and out. Woo-to-the-hoo! We were VICTORIOUS!

After we hid everything from the kids I went inside and curled up with my iTouch searching through the movie channels. Found Footloose on. Hence the chosen video above. After watching and having 80's fashion flashbacks. I packed for my trip right after work to see my Dad in Spokane. (about 3 hours from here)I got in the shower. Stayed too long, again. And arrived at my desk at 9

Ding Ding! In various ways

In which I have an idea or two...


I always have songs spinning in my head. It's amazing how I even think original thoughts at all. Srsly! This morning. ABBA. That's right! And then as the day progresses, more out-of-nowhere songs pop in. "Come on ride the train. Choo-Choo. Ride it!" That song was never even in the air waves this morning. WTF?

Then I was trying to find Selena Cross - I'm Not Lost (because it's beautiful...DUH) and it hit me. Maybe I should blog my-favorite-song-of-the-day! WOW! Fantabulous idea, I repeated to myself with a goofy grin. So, hence and what not. HA! That is why there is now a video widget/gadget, whateva, at the top of the page. I must caution you. I have strange and not at all consistent taste in music. I love EVERYTHING!. But I am so unbelievably excited about posting a what's-in-my-head song everyday that I could squeal, just like a lil school girl. I know. I know. It's probably just me that is this excited. Yet. Still. Excited.

As for the secondary, but equally important, ding ding. My headlights! (no boobies was the last post). It was/is very foggy out today. Headlights required kind of fog. Of course. I sometimes, almost always, leave a tad-bit late. I arrive in the parking lot, grab my gear. You know, drink. Smokes. Chargers for the cell and the iTouch, delicious toy. Arms full of goodness as I try to exit the vehicle. It is then that the DING DING commanded my attention and alerted me. Saying calmly, Hey Dillhole! You forgot your lights AGAIN!!!

Today. I am thankful for the DING DING(s) in my life.


In other news... Mush gave me a blanket of bubble wrap. Yay! for bubblewrap.

Lost the fight with gravity

In which I talk about boobies and not in a good way....



It all started with a shower. I *heart* morning showers. I play the radio and make it an event.
Gets the day off right. Then, I step out. OMG! Why, oh why, is the a mirror directly across from the shower? Whose design choice was that? I think I might have to change the log to the "ask if you want to proceed" type. Give everyone the chance to avoid this entire post.

Anyway, I am 33 rounding the corner to 34 AND I have 2 kids. Things have happened. Like the location and size of my ass! Not only did it fall but it widened. A great deal. As if that weren't enough! WTF happened to my boobs? They used to be round and perky and positioned proper. NOW. They hang and I don't know that I can actually see my nipples when looking "head on". If someone asked for a picture of them. I am fairly certain, I would have to place the camera on the ground below me pointed up.

As if on queue, Cher "If I could turn back time" played on the "mixed" CD. Thank you Cher! She snapped back from the looking glass. I decided I didn't care. One day, I will have a bring-the-boobies-back fund! Then the girls will be back to how they were at 21.

Super, groovy, cute iTouch!

I know what I will be doing this weekend. Because I have a brand. New. Toy. I adore it! It even has my name etched on the back. Which, like Mush said, eliminates the option of pawning. But 8 gigs will probably be enough for me. I do wish there was a place for additional storage though. Still the best present from an employer, EVAR!

That is all. *happy dance and curtsy*

Tragically Lame

I describe and ponder my life...


I know this will be a short post because I'm currently at lunch. I was just wondering a few things. I realize it's all rhetorical but still I must utilize my www as an outlet for what is swimming around in my psyche.

How this topic came to be.... It began yesterday. I was so excited that Survivor was going to be on last night that it became almost sad. Not sad, "I am going to cry" but sad, "I can't believe the intense joy I feel because I actually have something to do tonight." OMGWTF! What has happened?!?!

When did I become a VH1-er when I am the MTV generation? When did curling up with a good book and myself become more appealing then marathon sex with a cute guy? When did my idea of a good time turn into Sunday Cosmic bowling instead of my favorite bar on Friday night. Give Chris a kiss on the cheek after picking up my drink, he already had on the bar waiting for me. Chris always made the vodka nectarean. Then I would shake my sugar-foot all night long.

It's not that I mourn my party days. I'm actually content being a Mommy. I just wonder about the time-line. When did I become the oldest 33 year old, I know?

And the Golden Tampon goes to......

Holy addlepates, Batman!

Main Entry: moron
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: stupid person
Synonyms: addlepate, blockhead*, boob*, dimwit, dingbat, dolt, dope*,
dork, dumbbell*, dummy*, dunce, fool, half wit, idiot,
ignoramus, imbecile, lamebrain*, loony*, loser*, mental defective, nerd*, simpleton

Antonyms: brain



So... I knew today was going to be a little rough because the "boss" is out and that leaves me the sole tech rep for 3 hours. But Usually, Wednesdays are slow. Not the case this morning. *Of course not!* It started out alright. Not too busy. Then the phones dropped. Because we can't have a system that actually works. As I sit on my arse, the calls pile up. Can't answer them, no phone service. The phones come back up and I jump back in the queue. After a couple of minutes, I am swimming along just fine. Calls getting caught up. Then...BAM!! Calls drop again. Gah! VOIP sucks!

Meanwhile, the queue builds. I jump in again... Treading in the deep pool of calls.
Slowly, getting a comfortable grip on the queue. And, you guessed it, down again!

Holy llama piss! For the love of God! What does a girl have to do to have an easy day at work? I realize My co-worker will be in soon, so try not to stress. Then, one more time, we go down! Turns out the VOIP server was over-heating. With cat-like reflexes. They install a new fan and solve our phone trouble. Thank God. Got all but 3 calls handled before Michelle came in. I thought, "We will be good now"! Hell-to-the-no!

My other co-worker, who is in sales, needed me to take a call because he cannot be tied up doing tech support "type things" when there is incoming sales call. He has to make us dollars. My employer doesn't want sales people handling any tech calls. Even though KJ knows far more then I do. So I took the call. And Poor Michelle worked the queue alone. That sucks. I hate leaving someone to work the queue because I am on a long call. BUT... OMFG! This women was a dink! Anything that I said to do she did the opposite! I said left click, she right clicked. I said click here, she clicked there. When I said, "that's incorrect. I said right click on the Winmail.exe notleft click on some random link in your program files. Dumbass!" Oh and by the way, there is not such a thing as "small caps" (unless you are talking about stocks) since "caps" stands for capital letters!!!

The conversation between myself and the id10t went on for about 33.5 minutes. *not that I'm counting* Again, tech queue suffers. After hanging up with her, I had 2 calls from WoW-ers that couldn't log onto their servers. Ah.. Refreshing to talk to someone I do not have to speak stupid to. And yes! I do know I ended that sentence with a
preposition.



The day did get better. I guess I am just Sally, sore ass today. It is a 10 hour day. I'm tired. So the The Golden Tampon Award goes to me today!! Yay me! For being a crack!

I know what I need. A lemonade and a lil vodka. *maybe 1 part lemonade and 3 parts vodka* Screw it! Pass me the bottle and call it a day!

Runaway....Far, far away....

In which I share one story of bailing on the groom.

Alright, so I have been close to wedded bliss *ha!* a couple of times or 4. But it scares the hell out of me so, I run. Screw the whole "let's sit down and talk like
rational adults about what I am feeling B.S". That is far too logical and mature. Sheesh! That's expecting a little bit much from me! Yes, I am a runaway bride and not in a cool way!
I will tell you the worst of the 4 stories and you will just know that it happened similar to this story. I was with someone, we'll call him "Fred", for about 2 years. We loved each other and "got on" great. I was happy and so was he. Of course, I was only in my very early twenties. So, that gets me some "Ahh, I see" credit. Although the next 3 times, I was older. *Tangent*
Right. Well, I went through the whole "what church, where and when? Whose going to be in the wedding? Where are they going to sit and with whom? Will they all get along? What colors do we want? What kind of cake, traditional or more reflective of us? Where should we have the reception and what kind of food? And the invitations. We settled on teal white for the colors. I went and had the invitations printed. They were
beautiful and 250 dollars. For Cards!" Does that seem okay to people? The stress added up. Until I felt like I was carrying a camel on my back! Then people just kept yacking at me about it. Half the time like I wasn't even in the room. It became a "thing". Like it had a life of it's own. Living, breathing, pulsating monster sitting on my chest until I couldn't breathe. Then, I looked at "Fred". Could I picture my whole, ENTIRE life with this one man? Would I feed him if he couldn't hold his spoon anymore. Because let's face it, we grow older and time marches on! Would I be able to be there, with him FOREVER?!?!
So, in the middle of the night. Just a few days before the wedding. I packed
as much as I could, and my dog, Chelsea into my Datsun 280Z and left town. Drove 2 and a half hours away. Not a goodbye. No note. No phone call. Just split. Showed up at Mom's in the wee hours of the morning. Not crying, relieved. Like I could breathe again.
"Fred" came and found me a couple of months later. Needed
time to "cool down" before seeing my face again. So as not to high five me in it. It wasn't about him though. It was about the life-sucking wedding. The details. The flowers. The church. The Food. The dress. The guests. The placement. The money. The freakin LIFETIME COMMITMENT! GAH! I'm not a headcase
I had to flee. The flight or fight response took over and flight won.
"Fred" and I stayed together a while and even had an "on again, off again" relationship for several years. We even tried to get married another time. With much the same result. There was another man, we'll call him "George". We tried to marry. The story a little different, but the ending the same.
Now, it's not that I think I am a commitment phob. I think it's the stress of all the planning and the details and the money. I am a pretty laid back gal. That is too much for me.
If I am to EVER get married, I think I know the tactic that would need to be deployed. VEGAS! Yes! Let's go to Vegas and get far too intoxicated. Hop in a car (DD in the driver seat of course) and go to a drive-thru chapel with Elvis presiding. There! Done. Srsly! That's the way. Then later. Have a fantastic reception or wedding for everyone to attend. That way, the deed is done no stress.

Or... Or .... OR... show up under my window. In a wicked 80's, trench coat.
Holding a ghetto blaster over your head like John Cusack. Playing "In Your Eyes", exactly like Say Anything!*Swoon*

So the morale of the story.... All little girls really want to get drunk in Vegas and be completely irresponsible. Or perhaps that is just me.

My Geek-dom

In which I further explain how much of a geek I am...




Right. So. Earlier, I believe I called myself a "Mid-level geek" I must correct that statement. I am really a baby geek. I have been teaching myself html and css. I want to learn all that I can so I can just bang out code with a quickness. I have learned quite a bit. The problem is... it's taking forever. Baby steps. I understand more if I can actually do it. Reading about something gives me an idea but doing a thing, that's how I get it. So, strike the Mid-level geek in my description of myself. From time-to-time you will see/read me obsess. Because I AM an obsesser. No shame in it. I own it.

I have also noticed something in myself lately. I think I may dig Michelle. I'm hope I am not SWF-ing her. I believe it's more of a "she is super cool, smart and funny with the added bonuses of being a techie plus she's a ROCKSTAR. It's official I have become her disciple. *heavy sigh. Hangs head.*

Hope she doesn't mace me in the hallway.

In other news... Stonesoup for lunch today. Yay! For soup.


*Next up* Runaway bride stories

Mazda's Revenge

Where I get locked inside my car.



Good morning! On my way to work but needed to share a story. I left work after receiving a text to come to the restaurant, formerly known as the Homestead, for free food. They are practicing for opening night and my step dad is a cook/chef there. So, of course, I went. I had fabulous stuffed mushrooms. They were tasty. Then, I left. Walked the block and a half down the alley and onto the street, where I had to park. I proceeded to get lost for a few minutes (because I have no sense of direction). I, finally, found a familiar road and drove to my favorite gas station to get something to drink.

I had locked the doors because I do that at night when I get into the
car alone. No problem. One would think. However, Christine decided I must remain seated. I couldn't get the door to unlocked. It's electric and it was stuck. I could unlock ALL the other doors just not the drivers side. I could swear, when I tried it shocked me. Now I could have went home and gotten assistance but then there would be no witnesses to my dilemma or stupidity, whichever. I resigned myself to the fact that I could not exit through the driver door. So. I crawled my fat, ass over the center console and out the passenger door. I rounded the car and attempted twice, unsuccessfully, to unlock it with a key. But. The third time. I was TRIUMPHANT! I walked in the store. Purchased my lemonade and camel 99's and went back to
my evil, evil car. Without further incident.

The Toilet Paper Incident

An imported blog from Myspace


In which I begin a rant....


Right. So, it's my lunch hour so this will be brief. And yes, I
know, it's nothing significant to bitch about but yet....Bitch I
must....
So, I got off the phone long enough to retreat to the restroom when
what do I discover!!!???

Yes. That's right! Again!
Apparently. NO ONE in the office knows how to change the roll! So,with cat-like reflexes, I decide to put together a little "How to"...complete with visual aids.
And you, are now subjected to the same.




Step 1: Pick up a new roll. Easy and light, no heavy lifting so a
doctor's note will
not do you any good what-so-ever!



Step 2:

Unwrap said roll. No other explanation should be required of me here.




Step 3: Throw the empty friggin cardboard holder
and the wrapper from the
new roll away.... Simple enough...
One would think.



Step 4: Ta-effin-Da! Place the nice, full, new roll on the
receptacle provided. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is that!
Pretty simple. No power tools needed. No aerobic
excerise.


Finally.....

And please DO NOT forget this step...
Wash or santinize your hands.
I don't know about you... But I feel better.
I even feel a sense of acomplishment. Too bad
there isn't a category called "just plain ranting and
complaining about a pet peeve." But alas, that
wasn't an option to choose.
I know there are, most likely, typo's and
spelling errors. But as I said it's my lunch hour
and I do not have time to proof read. In an earlier post
I told ya...This is therapy for me, blogging. So from
time-to-time, you will see a post where you will be all
"WTF? Who cares about toilet freakin paper?!" And
I'll be all like "Uh,.... me. Right this second." Then we
will both move on and forget the damn thing.
I know... I know... But I also said before that
I was a total geek. Maybe now, you will believe me.
I would so love to bust out into a list of my pet peeves.
But can't, gotta go. lunch is over.
Remember today's lesson and put it to use. You won't
see or hear it, but there WILL be silent appreciation for your
work. :)~

* Side note*
In EVERY picture I took, I was actually on the toilet.
What does that make me? Is there a word for it?*
HA! Have a good day!

There has to be a first one.

Hi bloggerers! Forgive me for my newbie excitement and possible
lame first post. But I had to at least get started. Like ripping off a
band aid....

I thought I would make an attempt to introduce myself but...
it will not be my life story. If you read...You will get to know me
and my story.

I feel the need to let you know some basics. I exaggerate. I'm a smart ass.
I don't like change in my chaotic routine, that doesn't make sense
to anyone but me. I am a mid-level geek and want to be a SUPER
GEEK someday. I *heart* music. I'm smart but not a genius.
I'm a real "runaway bride* (I will tell you about those stories
someday). I try not to stress on the little things but sometimes
it sneaks up on me. I type like I talk. I don't rehearse, it is what it
is. I tend to go on tangents and sojourns and take you along for the
ride. I sing. Loud. Way off key. But I am still wicked cool. I use
80's slang often. Such as, wicked, killer, sweet, bitchin. I loath math.
It requires logically reasoning and I don't think I am wired to be logical.
*giggle*. I am not a judgemental person, I don't believe. I enjoy the unusual.
People. Places. Conversations. Ideas. And so on. I could go on and on, no need.
You will see who and what I am as time goes by because I dig the blogging thing.

It's like therapy. I don't know yet how hip I am to have all my "dear diary"
ramblings out here on the www for everyone to view, judge, criticize...etc.

Actually, yes, I do. I don't care. I am, who I am and it's good to be me.
I do think of blogging as a journal, of sorts. Some co-workers do it and
I have fallen in love with blogging and reading blogs. Until now,
I have only posted on my social sites. So, it is time to stretch my
wings a tad and enter a new realm of blogging. *happy dance*!
Gah! I am a total nerd.

Right. Well. That's it for now. It's 1:30 in the a.m. and I have to be
up to get the offspring ready for school in the morning and myself to
work, such as it were. Curtsy and i'm out!