Monday, December 15, 2008

I peak by Wednesday

In which I go out....

Time to get our treeNormally, after about Wednesday, I run out of interesting information. I often wonder if it's because I am long winded and fill you in on a few days all in one shot. Then I wonder, why do I care that I peak by Wednesday. As long as I blog once a week, I feel I've accomplished something. Right. On with it then. How was your weekend, LCG (LeftCoastGirlie), you ask? It was hilarious, is my answer. At least it was in my perspective. A little history for you first. We, my bizarre little family, have a tradition to go out and chop down our Christmas tree every year. Sometimes, it makes me feel sorry for the tree. I know that's strange. But the tree is just minding it's own business. All, you know, growing and producing oxygen and along we come with our kids and saw. We cut it down. Throw it on top of our car, drive down the mountain and cut the end off. Then we stick it in a stand and screw metal rods into the trunk. Pile on lights and decorations. When we are through with it, we throw it outside for the boy scouts to pick up. Kind of sad. Or maybe, it's just me.

Since there are so many of us living together, we had to take 2 cars. We started out knowing where to go then... not so much. The snow level was rising the farther we up we traveled. Eventually, my cell phone rang. It was my brother in the car behind me.

My brother: "I'm going to have to turn around and go back. The snow is deeper then the car is high".

Me: "Alright" I said, "let me find a place to turn around."

And here is where the fun started. I was able to turn around in the driveway of a farmhouse without incident. I parked in the road. Then it was Troy's turn. He got turned around in the driveway but trying to make it make to the road he got stuck. So. Time to push. While trying push the car backward, I believe we broke the World Dead lift Record. We had my mom steer the car while we pushed. After a few minutes, we managed to get it out of the driveway and onto the road. I would have photo's but for the following conversation:

Me: "I should take pictures of this for Flickr and my blog."

Troy: "If you do that, I will throw your little phone under the tires for fucking traction."

So, no pictures of the pushing the vehicles. We got into the SUV. And I thought it was parked on the shoulder. Everything was covered in a couple of feet of snow, I couldn't tell for sure. Turns out. I was on the shoulder. We drove into the ditch and stayed there. Driving in the ditch. The bank less then a foot from my window. I leaned to the left while holding the "Oh-shit-handle".
and thought *out loud* "We are in the ditch! We are in the ditch!" *You know. In case he didn't know.* I saw a mailbox in our path. And stated "There's a mailbox! There's a mailbox!" (Thank you. My alter ego is Obvious Woman!) Luckily, we hit a driveway that bounced us onto the road and across into another ditch. Hit another driveway and was able to just stay on the road. My brother looked at me and said, "Do you think it is possible that you could shut the fuck up?!" *snort* No, probably not.

Sneak attack We ended up having to go to a tree farm with pre-cut trees. Which was still fun because the kids didn't seem to mind. They bombed each other and us with snowballs. We picked out our tree and took it home. I was going to settle in and watch "It's a Wonderful Life" then I got a text from Goblinbox saying she was down at Sapolil Cellars playing from 8-11. And that I should come. So, I talked the brother, also called, my brother, into babysitting and hitched a ride down there. You see, it was and is still snowing and I am a big sissy la-la when it comes to driving in the snow. I drank some wine and listened to Mush and Coyote Kings play some groovin blues music. There was a small crowd, which was actually really nice. They then invited me to be their hostage, which I gladly accepted. There was a bite-size dog in the bar that someone brought in the purse. *Not even kidding*. Gibblesnix and Goblinbox thought it was adorable, as did I. Gibblesnix wanted to put it in his coat and take it home. We decided to go out to breakfast because Mush needed "an omelette STAT". We arrived safely to Shari's and waited to be seated. And waited and waited. While waiting, we were talking to a foursome that came in to eat breakfast as well. The little girl was telling us a story about how they had stolen a chocolate pie the last time they were there. Here's something I learned, when Mush counts, things happen. Mush said "they have 80 seconds to seat us. If not, we are going to Taco Bell". And she began to count. I think she reached 40-something before we were actually seated. Our both was still wet. You know, from sanitizing. We ordered our beverages and received them in a timely fashion. He even took orders fast. Mush and I both ordered the veggie omelette. KandaJ ordered an entire cow. Which apparently they had to slaughter and butcher themselves because we waited like an hour for our meal. Once again, Mush said, "I am counting to 90. *I think* If our food isn't here we are going to Taco Bell!" It arrived in about 80 seconds, give or take. While the food was good. It was obvious that the eggs had been sitting for a little bit.

Late night breakfast The moral of my story is this: Don't drive up mountains without a lift kit or a power-lifter in the back seat. Even unplanned events, turn into fun! And my friends are WAY better then your friends. *snort*

*curtsy and I'm out*

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