Friday, July 10, 2009

A brand new day

In which yet another day begins and ends....

To catch up, I had news that I couldn't or wouldn't declare on the open internet. Depending on how you look at it. I did disclose my news with a trusted few familiars. Who were all both ingeniously clever and supportive. Which is precisely why they knew and you didn't *grin*. However, the secret needs not be held a moment longer. Why, you ask? Because life itself is an enigma that provides no clear answer. That is the only answer I can provide you with today. Am I sad? In a way. Am I relieved? In a way. Does that make me a bad person? No. That makes me human. Aren't we all confused and conflicted by our individual, inner turmoil on a day-to-day basis? That is, indeed, our nature. Life, in and of itself, is uncertain, unstable and yet, perfectly imperfect. My people are fantastic!!! I truly believe I have the best earthly beings, posed as my friends, a girl could ever hope for and in this aspect, I am charmed. I received beautiful, enlighten message from Mush. I can tell you, of all the things people have said, her message actually made me feel better. And she made me smile, even giggle.

She said, "You are a high soul, you silly bitch."

I totally *heart* her. Seriously. The rest of the conversation is, of course, clandestine. All of my friends were very supportive. And completely deserving of mention and smooches.

The night does end and a new day does dawn. I continue to hold fast to what makes me smile throughout it all, the little things. If I dwell in the sadness and despair of it [mundane existence in general], I would be a waste of oxygen. I'm inclined to believe we are on a journey without a solid, tangible destination. Along the way, if we are blessed, we meet people that teach us lessons and feed our souls. We are lifted to a higher state in their presence, though we may not realize it until days, months or years later. Even if they don't have a name known unto you. Granted, it's easier said than done. I will do this in the way I have always re-focused. I will feel the sunshine on my face. I will appreciate the way my dog wags her tail when I pull into the driveway expecting nothing more than a pat on her head as I enter the gate. I will genuinely hear the happiness in my child's laughter and allow it to be infectious no matter "the day I had" or how totally unappreciated I feel throughout the daily office grind. For, it is in these little things, like the gentle cool breeze on a hot summer day, I find solace. I think if you add up these tiny moments of contentment they will far out number the bad points in time . At the end of it all, our lives our made up of collections of moments. The ones I prefer to carry with me will bring me to a place of love not of abandon. Emotional state is all in ones perspective and in ones control.

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