Black Friday...GAH

Just so we are clear from the gate.. I NEVER. I mean EVER. Go shopping on black friday. I loath shopping. Not just dislike, loath. But. This year. It was a must. The Christmas present (to be named later because he knows I have a blog) I needed to get my 12 yr old son, was on sale. 60 dollars off! That's a lot for a single mom/gal like me.

My brother, Troy,AKA "the muscle" said he would go with me but he wouldn't be happy about it. Thank God, he did. That ginormous thing weighed over 200 lbs. I think I have a hernia. Srsly.

Our plan? Divide and conquer. An "action isle" away was the cutest vacuum for only 28 bucks. In pink, blue or green. I know! Right! Cuteness!

How the day began actually starts with the night. I, in my infinite wisdom, did not go to sleep until midnight. At 3:22 AM. Yes! AM! My brother woke me up. He gets up that early everyday to go to work at the VIT. Needless to say, I, unenthusiastically, crawled out of bed and stumbled down the stairs to the bathroom. Thinking the whole time that, maybe, the 60 dollars was so not worth the loss of sleep. But when you say you are going to do something, you should always do it. After a condensed morning routine. We headed to WalMart. Because I am too cheap to shop anywhere else. Not that there is a huge selection of department stores in Walla Walla, Washington.

At 4 am, my brother and I had staked claim to the *present not to be named*. Much like the early Americans in the great land rush. Exactly like that only way different. We were standing there conversing with 2 other men. They were telling stories about "Black Friday" sales of old. The one I remember went something like this.

Old man speaks. "A few years ago, we were lined up outside because back then WalMart was closed. I remember we had been there for two hours already when a women came to line and tried to make her way to the front. Someone shouted, "Hey! There is a line for a reason you know?" The new arrival said, "I know. But I am disabled." Then the women that shouted, still wearing her pajamas barked, I don't care WHAT you are! Get in line lady".

I didn't say it was a nice story. Just was funny in a pathetic kind of way. It's not the end of the world if you don't get what you came for. It's a gamble. I didn't expect the "competition" side of it though. As the minutes ticked past. I turned to my brother and said time to divide? He said "yep". He's a man of few words, that brother of mine. Before I went to lay claim to my vacuum. I whispered, "Roll up your sleeves and put your 'Grr' face on." You see, my brother has his arms "sleeved" with Tattoos.

We were texting back and fourth until about 4:45 AM PEOPLE. Then the flood gates opened and people poured into the isles. He wrote me a final text. And I Quote..."Get the vacuum. I got the *present not to be named* and the shop vac. I'll meet you up front. You got the plan. No more texting. It's Showtime!" I *heart* him.

At 5AM. The black shrink wrap was devoured us consumers and chaos ensued. I did help the lady I had be talking to find a green vacuum. I started to head to where I left my brother when I got a text. Come on! it read. He was already up front. I asked if he helped the old man get one of the *presents not to be named* and he said, "Are you crazy!? He one pulled down when I did. He was trying to get two." I asked, "Well how many people were there?" His answer. "More then there was *presents*." We got to the cash register. No waiting. In and out. Woo-to-the-hoo! We were VICTORIOUS!

After we hid everything from the kids I went inside and curled up with my iTouch searching through the movie channels. Found Footloose on. Hence the chosen video above. After watching and having 80's fashion flashbacks. I packed for my trip right after work to see my Dad in Spokane. (about 3 hours from here)I got in the shower. Stayed too long, again. And arrived at my desk at 9

Ding Ding! In various ways

In which I have an idea or two...


I always have songs spinning in my head. It's amazing how I even think original thoughts at all. Srsly! This morning. ABBA. That's right! And then as the day progresses, more out-of-nowhere songs pop in. "Come on ride the train. Choo-Choo. Ride it!" That song was never even in the air waves this morning. WTF?

Then I was trying to find Selena Cross - I'm Not Lost (because it's beautiful...DUH) and it hit me. Maybe I should blog my-favorite-song-of-the-day! WOW! Fantabulous idea, I repeated to myself with a goofy grin. So, hence and what not. HA! That is why there is now a video widget/gadget, whateva, at the top of the page. I must caution you. I have strange and not at all consistent taste in music. I love EVERYTHING!. But I am so unbelievably excited about posting a what's-in-my-head song everyday that I could squeal, just like a lil school girl. I know. I know. It's probably just me that is this excited. Yet. Still. Excited.

As for the secondary, but equally important, ding ding. My headlights! (no boobies was the last post). It was/is very foggy out today. Headlights required kind of fog. Of course. I sometimes, almost always, leave a tad-bit late. I arrive in the parking lot, grab my gear. You know, drink. Smokes. Chargers for the cell and the iTouch, delicious toy. Arms full of goodness as I try to exit the vehicle. It is then that the DING DING commanded my attention and alerted me. Saying calmly, Hey Dillhole! You forgot your lights AGAIN!!!

Today. I am thankful for the DING DING(s) in my life.


In other news... Mush gave me a blanket of bubble wrap. Yay! for bubblewrap.

Lost the fight with gravity

In which I talk about boobies and not in a good way....



It all started with a shower. I *heart* morning showers. I play the radio and make it an event.
Gets the day off right. Then, I step out. OMG! Why, oh why, is the a mirror directly across from the shower? Whose design choice was that? I think I might have to change the log to the "ask if you want to proceed" type. Give everyone the chance to avoid this entire post.

Anyway, I am 33 rounding the corner to 34 AND I have 2 kids. Things have happened. Like the location and size of my ass! Not only did it fall but it widened. A great deal. As if that weren't enough! WTF happened to my boobs? They used to be round and perky and positioned proper. NOW. They hang and I don't know that I can actually see my nipples when looking "head on". If someone asked for a picture of them. I am fairly certain, I would have to place the camera on the ground below me pointed up.

As if on queue, Cher "If I could turn back time" played on the "mixed" CD. Thank you Cher! She snapped back from the looking glass. I decided I didn't care. One day, I will have a bring-the-boobies-back fund! Then the girls will be back to how they were at 21.

Super, groovy, cute iTouch!

I know what I will be doing this weekend. Because I have a brand. New. Toy. I adore it! It even has my name etched on the back. Which, like Mush said, eliminates the option of pawning. But 8 gigs will probably be enough for me. I do wish there was a place for additional storage though. Still the best present from an employer, EVAR!

That is all. *happy dance and curtsy*

Tragically Lame

I describe and ponder my life...


I know this will be a short post because I'm currently at lunch. I was just wondering a few things. I realize it's all rhetorical but still I must utilize my www as an outlet for what is swimming around in my psyche.

How this topic came to be.... It began yesterday. I was so excited that Survivor was going to be on last night that it became almost sad. Not sad, "I am going to cry" but sad, "I can't believe the intense joy I feel because I actually have something to do tonight." OMGWTF! What has happened?!?!

When did I become a VH1-er when I am the MTV generation? When did curling up with a good book and myself become more appealing then marathon sex with a cute guy? When did my idea of a good time turn into Sunday Cosmic bowling instead of my favorite bar on Friday night. Give Chris a kiss on the cheek after picking up my drink, he already had on the bar waiting for me. Chris always made the vodka nectarean. Then I would shake my sugar-foot all night long.

It's not that I mourn my party days. I'm actually content being a Mommy. I just wonder about the time-line. When did I become the oldest 33 year old, I know?