Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Paging Doctor Freud......

In which... What does that mean??

I had a dream last night. Not anything life changing or even inspiring. Just a little strange. I was at some bar doing some bad Karaoke. When Kid Rock came up on stage to sing Lowlife with me. I was excited. Kid Rock is Super hot, in the I-don't-wash-my-hair-for-800-months-but-you-still-want-me-because-I'm-secretly-sexy, kind of way. But I managed to play it cool.
We continued to sing, dance and drink. We were having a fabulous time. He asked me to go to his room.

Me: "I would love to. But. I'm not the kind of girl who sleeps with men on the 1st date."
Him: "Really. Ok. I just thought we were having a great time. Sorry."
And he walked away.
Me: "HEY! You give up too easy. Take me to breakfast and I'll consider it the 2nd date."

I winked and he laughed. Then we left for food. Some diner on the side of the road. I really don't know what state we were in. Then. There was background music and everything was in black and white. We were in the motel room. Flashes of body parts is all you saw. Occasional laughter coming through the music. That's right! I had a blank and white, sex montage dream!

All the sudden. I was in a board room. Kid Rock was there. I called him "Bobby". When you procreate with someone, you don't have to use their stage name anymore. His lawyers were there and DNA test results on the long cherry wood table. I told the lawyers to shut up because they weren't there when my daughter was conceived and we didn't need their help now either. I told "Bobby", I just wanted him to see our daughter and to pay $700.00 a month in child support. I said, "I'm not asking for an insane amount of money just because you have it. I just want what would cover her needs." I left. The next thing you know. The little girl was about 3 years old and we were all playing in the water down by the river at sunset.

Then. I woke up. Strange. For 3 reasons. (A)I am too old to have anymore babies. (B)The rule is the 3rd date!!! (C) I don't even know Kid Rock. Okay and (4) I would have chosen Cocky to sing.

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